I wish i was a punk rocker

Where am i ?

In the middle of the lesson am suppose to be teaching.

Nm is whinging that I am not providing her with entertainment. I apologise but at this moment in time I am marking. Its brain draining truly it is because you have to attempt to decipher what the kids have written not only is their hand writing really bad but a lot of them can even structure their sentences.

All I have had time for is, sneaking in reads of my book.

Why is it when I have marking all I want to do put it off until have finished my book?

I was on a roll seriously people, I got organised and I was meeting my personal quota then I get the bad news I am marking to harshly and I have to stop until I get my sample back. Which also meant I had to remark the 75 (I counted exactly) papers. I was so not amused.

So now I have to get may self back into the swing of things which is quite hard.

But I also have to organise my Egypt trip am going nearly 2 half weeks time . I finally sent of for my visa Yeah yeah. I am going

Dear God I am going.

I just felt the nerves of anxiety go through me. IA I will be fine.

Okay breathe lets think about other things
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghh I can’t
I can only think of things that I need to do before I go.
Seriously feeling the anxiety

Okay lets try breathing again.

Marriage front- I am just tired of rejections and of been jealous of people who are already there and happy.
But am also terrified of the whole thing. I mean whose to say we know that the person or if I thought he was the person and he’s not. What if he changes into a person I can’t even understand never mind thought I loved and trusted with my whole soul and body.

I know there people I know who have beautiful marriages and other are having a hard time of it.
But I can’t help the pessimistic side of me which appears when marriages and their problems come up. I don’t have a solid background of happy marriage and I have serious trust issue with the opposite gender.

So is the grass green on the other side not really I mean I would get some benefits but I don’t think they would outweigh the perks of been single.

But life goes on, you worry for people, ask Allah to guide them and ease their suffering and leave it there.

I forgotten how easy it is to write and see things on paper.

Right that should do for now I am going to go back to teaching.

TKC my people

Love and salaam (Peace)